Posted in Life

Sidetrack: Entitled v. Unoffended

Goodbye 2017.  This is a sidetrack from my regular blog topic.

I read a book recently titled “Unoffendable”  I liked it and it seemed logically right.  I part, it stated we do not have to be offended by anything.  I thought, Right!?  The more I read, it really dawned on me, and these things I knew already.  Many people just aren’t good, or do some things that aren’t kind. They will do bad things; we see it on the news and in our lives every day.  But when those things happen to us, we are suppressed, because it happened to us. And were offended, speak on end about it, share it, post it and yes blog about it!

What we don’t truly understand is that we do not have to or in some cases have a right to get angry about it to a point where we tell ourselves we are entitled to do or say something to get back at someone somehow… These actions or even continuous dwelling hurt us and usually those close to us. And with all we have going on anyway, we do not need our taking offense to the actions or words of other (that we already know happen around us every day).  It takes away time and energy we definitely could use elsewhere.

Now entitlement and unoffendable, how do they go together?  Well for those who think they are entitled because they have been working on the job for a whole month and think they deserve a raise, or think every car should move aside not deter their commute, or start a job and think you should have a higher ranking one, you will be easily offended.  I very recently had a tenant (Stephan T. Baker somewhere in Cook County IL) believe he was entitled to not pay for living in a house that I owned and raised my boys for the better part of their first 10 years.

So, this has and still is causing financial struggles to where my mortgage on the house is in near default, bills are being paid late, home being put on the market to be sold, while ensuring our own rent is paid, not to mention the difficult conversations in our household.  I do believe I am not entitled to be angry to the point of distraction, anger, and plan for retribution or keep me from doing what is best for my family and those I care about.  If so, he, they win.  And the focus has moved away from God being our goto, pray to, Savior in midst of struggle, and our true blessing.

Not being offended is whack, right?  (do people still say “whack” anymore?)  Anyway, think about it.  As stated earlier, we know people are like this, but are surprised when it happens to us!  Why are we?  Like were better that those other people it happens to?  Definitely from others perspectives, they will think we don’t care that someone disrespected us or hurt us in some way.  Or, are weak and won’t stand up for ourselves.  When you’re calm/unoffended and taking no action because someone cut you off in traffic or stole from you or were a cause to put your house into default, look at the stress, anger and wasted time you saved yourself.  When you’re calm/unoffended, you can think and be clearer on what you need to do, correct it, and be better.

So, here I am at 3am unable to sleep, with stink I cannot seem to get off my hands and body, from spending 10 hours in my rental house cleaning filth left from Stephan T. Baker, two children and other unauthorized people living there, I think I am maturing somewhat. While on my hands and knees cleaning floors, walls oven, refrigerator, toilet… a feeling of satisfaction and what seemed like contentment, that our home, where we once lived now resembles our memory of it.  The memory of it, the way it should be and we want it to be.  It also satisfied me that my wife did not have to endure this again.

Stephan T. Baker… you have not stolen my memories of the home we raised our boys in for years, played ball (various types), cooked out, planted an apple tree in the front yard, learned to ride a bike, pogo-sticked for 45 minutes straight and great neighbors Brian, Tracy and Sammy…

Take care, and be well.

Author:

Raised on a 20 acre farm with all the animals in rural Indiana. I picked up rocks out of farm field before planting season, cooked in a pancake house for a couple years, worked in a factory, joined the Navy, back to the factory then College. I took for granted the simple natural (and unnatural) foods we grew that we raised, and the snacks and cereals we bought. I had a hard working mother I love, even now that she is gone, and a there but not there father. It went by so fast.

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